New Shoes

Noah, several weeks ago, told me that his shoes were getting tight.  I kept forgetting and forgetting to get him new shoes.  But this weekend, I finally remembered.  I picked out a pair of sneakers for him and a pair of church shoes.  He was SO excited!  This morning as he was getting ready for school, he came to me in the kitchen and said, "Mom, do you know what I'm going to say when I get to school today?"  I asked him, "what?" and he said, "There's something new about me!" and he wiggled his feet in the air, proud of his new shoes.  I melted into a little puddle there on the kitchen floor.  I'm so happy that he's excited, and so relieved.

We want to raise our children to be grateful for everything that they have.  My prayers always begin, "Dear Jesus, thank you for giving us a home to live in, food to eat, and clothes to wear."  More than anything, I desire that my children take this attitude as they grow.  I feel that many Americans take for granted the blessing of being born in this wonderful country, that so many people feel entitled to possessions and a life of ease. 

We try to keep it simple for our kids.  We want to provide for them the things that they need: love, food, clothing, shoes, coats, education, and a home.  We have been blessed with the means to give them these things.  We are blessed that Jeremy's job provides income enough for me to stay home.  We do not plan on taking our kids to Disney World (okay, if we lived anywhere near DW we might) nor on fancy vacations to Hawaii or Mexico.  We haven't bought them motorized vehicles for tooling around the driveway nor do we buy into commercialism, trends, and materialism.  In fact, we fight these things!

We want our children to look forward to an afternoon in the park, a picnic with friends, an outing to the mall, a trip to the zoo.  We want them to get excited about seeing a movie in a theater, about a trip to Grandma's, and time with their cousins.  I don't want them to become bored with these things, to be looking to the next "big thing" or the next toy that was advertised between cartoons.  I want them to be happy with what they have.

Most of all, I want them to be happy about the little things in life.  I want them to know that family is the most important and new shoes are definitely something to get excited about.

My Three Girls

Maria's Joint Birthday

Maria's birthday is within four days of her older cousin Ethan. Together, Jeremy's family celebrated Ethan's 3rd and Maria's 1st birthday. Carrie did all the work, all the decorating, and all the prepping, and we showed up with the birthday girl ... good deal, right!? ;)

Ethan wanted a pirate themed birthday!

All the children dressed as pirates.  This is Pirate Noah.

Carrie and Joel made a huge pirate ship, complete with an ocean of blue balloons, in their living room!

Ethan and Maria played in the ocean together.

Happy birthday, Pirate Maria!

Yeah, the Bacardi is in the background deliberately.  I thought it'd make me laugh in ten years, when I looked back on Maria's FIRST birthday and saw this picture of her cake with rum behind it.  It was a pirate birthday, after all.  We can't very well play pirates and not have rum now, can we?

Birthday baby!

Captain Morgan (speaking of rum)

Me, Captain Morgan, and Pirate Madeleine

Jeremy's dad is so funny.  This is him with Jeremy's sister Mandy.

You know what a good parent I am?  I let Maria eat and eat and eat and eat.  Guess what happened at midnight?  She woke up crying and barfed cake and frosting all over me.  Nice going, Aubrey!

Carrie had a pirate cake for Ethan.

Me and my captain

Maria Catherine

Captain Morgan

First Mate Isaiah

Maria played in the ocean of balloons.

I don't even know that Ethan's praying, but if he was, I would write the caption, "Lord, please make me a good pirate."

Captain Joe

Treasure hunt!

Madeleine

Clare, Morgan, Delphina, Gabriel, Jack, and Joe (forgot to take that red-eye out, didn't I?)

Carrie (Jeremy's sister), Ethan, and Jeremy's mom

Laurie (Jeremy's sister) and Clare

Holy buckets of cake, Batman!

Clean up!

She was such a mess, she ended up half naked.  Luckily, Carrie happened to have a sweater for her to wear.  It's always good for a child to end up reeeeaaaaalllllly messy on her first birthday.

Lenten Abstinence

I'm considering semi-abstinence from the computer for Lent.  My friend Lindsay wrote a wonderful post that has got me thinking.  I do spend more time at the computer than I should.  It's in the family room, so it's right there, convenient to access and hard to resist. 

While Lindsay is prepared to avoid all things internet for Lent, I know that I cannot do the same.  E-mail has become a primary form of communication for me.  My family and friends and I use this medium to exchange ideas, make plans, and keep up with one another.

Although I cannot give up e-mail entirely, I could easily--and temporarily--give up Facebook, blogging, and random searches that take up time I could be spending with my children or doing laundry.  Maybe giving up the internet for Lent would help me to become more disciplined.

I think that I will set times--8:00, 2:00, 9:00, for example--to check e-mail and set a timer to do it so that I cannot become absorbed in what's on my screen.  I think that throughout the day, I will make a list of things that I want to search, learn about, or look at on the internet and save it for a specific time of day and again, do it with a timer. 

Many of you have done this.  What are your thoughts?

It's All About Self Control

It's all about self control ... and comedy relief.  Seriously, the day of a woman/wife/mother is filled with odd choices.  While I make the best choices (usually),  I often imagine another timeline ... a timeline where I do exactly what I want to do without considering the outcome, and hang it all.  Wanna join in the laughter?  Choose five scenarios and post your own!

Leave a comment and consider yourself tagged.  If it catches on, I'll start to use a Mister Linky.

-1-

Scenario: Maria (one year old) crawled into the bathroom, pulled out the toilet brush, and started playing with it.

What I did: changed her clothes, washed her hands and face with soap and water, and shut the bathroom door

What I wanted to do: give her a bath in bleach

-2-

Scenario: Idiot Driver pulls out from a side street onto an arterial street right in front of me without really stopping

What I did: tapped the horn and put on the brakes

What I wanted to do: speed up and slam into the driver's side door of his car because I'm driving the safest mini-van in America and probably wouldn't get hurt. 

-3-

Scenario: I'm heading west on I-80

What I did: got off at the exit I was supposed to get off in my city

What I wanted to do: Keep going until I get to the Colorado border, then get on I-76 and head for the mountains and don't look back ... and don't come back for a week or so

-4-

Scenario: I received the payment for our old mini-van, cash.

What I did: turned it over to my husband

What I wanted to do: give him half of it and take the other half and plan a trip to Massachusetts for the Faith & Family retreat.  Non-refundable.  Or Seattle, just for fun.

-5-

Scenario: My sister had two fouls in the first quarter of her last-ever basketball game.

What I did: laughed at her

What I wanted to do: stand up and, in the interest of embarrassing her and also for comedy relief, yell really loud, "Sophie, quit hitting people!  It's not nice!"

Birth Order

I'm the oldest of 9 kids.  The other night, I was at my dad's house and the chalkboard was just hanging there, begging me to write on it before I left.  So I did what any eldest child would do ... I reminded everyone that I'm #1.  Well, #9 had something to add when she got home later.  My dad's wife Sue sent me a picture of it the next day:

Michael

Congratulations, Jeff & Sarah, on the birth of Jerome "Michael"!

Overheard

Isaiah, 3.5, says:

"Mom, I think my Spinosaurus is up on the counter but I can't see it.  Can you look and see?  Because you're long so you can see it."

SAINT Valentine's Day

Dear Anti-Catholic people,

We're happy to share our saints' feast days.  After all, they're not ours, but are for all mankind to celebrate.  Please remember, when you decide to hate Catholicism because we worship saints (we don't), to avoid celebrating those saints' feast days and other holy days ... Saint Nicholas, Christmas, Saint Valentine, Saint Patrick, Easter, Mardi Gras (Fat Tuesday), etc.  Please remember to buy chocolate and roses on Valentine's Day ... and pray a rosary, to wear green and drink lots of beer on Saint Patrick's Day ... and pray a rosary, and to eat, drink, and be merry on Fat Tuesday (Mardi Gras) and then FAST the next day ... Ash Wednesday.  Remember, when you buy into the commercialism of our holy days, the great men and women who came before us defending the Faith and living their lives according to Catholic tradition.  That's Catholic tradition, if you missed it.  Just wanted to point that out.  We'd be happy to have you!  It's never too late to convert.  We have lots of cool celebrations and traditions.  Join us.

Love,
The Laughing Family

Stay at Home Mom

It's hard to be a Stay-at-Home-Mom (SAHM).  I've worked several jobs and this is the hardest, but also the most rewarding.  I know it sounds cliche, but it's true.  This is what I'm called to do.  I know it without a doubt and I wouldn't have it any other way.

The benefits of this job are endless and obvious.  So what are the difficulties?  My day never really begins or ends.  It's a 24-hour job.  If a child wakes in the middle of the night, I answer.  When the first child wakes in the morning, that's when my day begins (usually ... I've been spoiled by sleeping in lately).  There's no transition time.  I don't roll out of bed, shower, get dressed and put on make up, get in my car, and drive to work.  Work is here.  There's not really an end to the day; we put the kids to bed at 8:00 and we have some down time, Jeremy and me, but we're still at home, still on call.
There is a rhythm to our day and that's good for me.  We wake at 7:00 to get ready for school, kids are off with Jeremy by 8:00.  Because of the school day, our schedule is rather strict.  Maria naps from 10-11, has to be up by 11 in order to get a good afternoon nap because we must leave home by 3:15 to pick up the school children.  We eat lunch at noon, nappers are down by 12:30 or 1:00.  Up and out to school, come home, Jeremy's home at 6:30, we eat supper as a family, then do whatever homework is left, Maria goes down at 7:00, then baths, into PJs, and in bed by 8:00.  We're in bed by midnight, sleep, wake, repeat.

Jeremy often says how much he loves weekends.  Me too.  It's great to have him home, but I'm still at work.  I haven't left.  My Saturday and Sunday are almost the same as Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday except I have help and I might be able to escape during naptime to be by myself for awhile.

Jeremy is very understanding when I announce that I need an hour to myself and then take off for awhile.  Sometimes I get a coffee and just drive and listen to music (the Sienna has a nice sound system), sometimes I go to the store and just wander around.  Sometimes I meet a girlfriend for coffee, second supper, or dessert.  He's understanding, but I don't think he really knows why my inner self is scrambling to get OUT of the house sometimes when he's so glad to finally be home. 

My mom--who stayed home with the first seven of us and worked weekends--commented that the problem is "the same four walls."  We stare at the same four walls every day and don't leave.  I don't leave my workplace at the end of my shift.  I stay there.  The work may have changed.  Now I'm doing laundry instead of changing diapers, but I'm still at work. The problem is more pronounced in the winter when it's necessary to truly stay at home. 

Now I can look at this one of two ways: I never have to leave home or I never get to leave home.  I also say that neither of these statements are completely true.  I can stay home if I want to, but there are playdates with my girlfriends, trips to the parks, lakes, zoos, and grandparents' home when the weather is nice.  It's because I have the luxury of not being forced to leave home (to go to work) that I can do all of these things when the weather is nice.  It's because I don't have to leave home that I get to see all my children's growth and achievements.  I've been there for their first smiles, first words, first steps, first day of school.  I do not take that for granted.

But there is the other side of being a SAHM that's not always pretty.  The 24-hours in the home thing that can become monotonous.  The work can become monotonous, even if it is loving servitude.  The hard part of SAHMotherhood was summed up by Archbishop Fulton Sheen, who was commenting on the spirit of a woman.

He said, "It is well known that women are capable of ... sustained sacrifice.  ...[M]oral endurance ... enables a woman to be heroic through the years, months, days and even seconds of her life, when the very repetitive monotony of her tasks wears down the spirit. Not only a woman's days, but her nights – not only her mind, but her body must share in the Calvary of motherhood. That is why women have a surer understanding of the doctrine of redemption then men have: they have come to associate the risk of death with life in childbirth, and to understand the sacrifice of self to another through the many months preceding it.

It's so true, isn't it?  We women have children over and over and know that pregnancy will be difficult, that childbirth will be difficult, and that the first weeks of nursing a newborn who doesn't sleep through the night will be difficult.  We do it anyway, and we do it again and again.  Why?  We love our family so deeply, love them with such fervor, that nothing else matters. 

So what does a SAHM do?  Inquiring minds want to know.  Well, we stay in our pajamas all day, sit on the couch and watch soap operas, and eat bon-bons.  Ha!  I'd need a nanny, a nurse, a maid, and a cook in order to do that!  A stay at home mom wears many hats.  The first and most important is wife.  What are some other hats?  Laundress, Cook, Nurse, Maid, Judge, Policeman, Firefighter, Banker, Errandress, Repairman, Pharmacist, Teacher, Storyteller, Nutritionist, Musician, Artist, Wildlife Specialist, Interior Decorator, Secretary, Psychologist, Tailor and Seamstress, and Spiritual Director.  A mother is all of those things and she is the heart of the home.

To be continued....

Coffee Talk

Tip of the week: Open coffee maker, insert filter, drop in two bags of chai tea (tags off), cover with Starbucks Colombian, brew. 

Yummo!

Good Grades Pay

At the Laughing house, good grades pay.  I've seen dozens of articles and thousands of suggestions NOT to pay children for good grades, but guess what?  I do it. 

In the real world, good grades pay.  So does kindness, respect, gentility, and good behavior.  The reason that Jeremy has the good job that he does is because he got good grades during college.  He was selected for his current position from a list called Outstanding Scholars.  Had he not been on this list, he would have been outranked by veterans and people with law degrees (one of his degree is in physics, the other in French, both are Bachelor degrees).  Thus, good grades pay.

In the real world, bad behavior, theft, breaking rules, and hurting others costs a citizen.  It's called a fine.  Guess what?  That's what it's called in the Laughing house, too.  If Morgan locks Madeleine out of their room, she is fined.  If Noah breaks a rule, he is fined. 

So how do I pay for grades?  The kids bring home their papers each week.  I go through the papers.  A grade of 90-99 earns a penny.  A grade of 100 earns a nickel.  One time, Morgan brought home so many 100s that I gave her a bonus of a dollar.  It happens in the real world!  Good performance = a bonus!  If Madeleine meets her reading goal for the week or month (she's in resource reading) she earns a dollar.  I was surprised at how quickly she began to meet her reading goals when I offered her a dollar for doing so.  Now she's properly motivated!  The children also earn money for doing their daily chore without being asked.  That's a quarter per day. 

What do I do for poor grades?  Not a whole lot.  Since they're early on in grade school, there aren't a whole lot of poor grades.  But if it does happen, the children must fix their mistakes and I go through the material with them to make sure they understand it.  If they don't do their jobs (real world = don't show up for work) they don't get paid.  Then I make them do it anyway.

Thoughts?  I don't care if you disagree; it's allowed.  :)

Little Flowers: Valentine Party

The secular world can adopt Valentine's Day, twist it and commercialize it, and do whatever they want with it, but the fact is that it's still a FEAST DAY which is recognized in the Catholic Church.  So the Little Flowers of our parish (three small groups) got together to celebrate a little early!

Large group with moms

My friends Lindsay (with Clairvaux) and Staci

Maria (not mine)

My Madeleine plays bingo

Lucia & Lillian

Janel helps Madeleine with bingo

Lillie

Felicity

Ana

My niece Clare

Lovely ladies, they are!

Jillian held up the cards for the girls to match for bingo.

Annie

Thea

Mattie and Annie

Amy read the story of St. Valentine

My Morgan

**Note to my girlfriends: if any of you would like me to remove pictures of your children from this post (or you), please e-mail me and I will do so!**