Deep Thoughts by Thomas à Kempis

Our bible study is reading Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis.  One night, I was frustrated and stressed out.  I grabbed my book and headed for church ... at midnight.  I let myself in and sat with Christ, reading and meditating.  The chapter I read was Chapter 16 in Book One: On Bearing with the Defects of Others.

I want to state one thing right away.  I hate to think that I actually bear the faults of others because I have so many myself that others must bear.  I want whomever is reading this to understand that I share this chapter with humility, realizing that I have faults--many faults--that others bear patiently, for which I am very grateful and of which I am very aware (and some which I am unfortunately unaware).  But the night that I was sitting in church, I needed to read this chapter.  Christ was truly speaking to me through the words of this monk, this author.  

These are his words: (emphasis added by me)

  There will always be defects in ourselves or others which we cannot correct.  These we must simply tolerate until God in His goodness sees fit to change things.  After all, this may be the best possible way to prove our patience, without which our good qualities are not worth much.
  Nevertheless, you must pray earnestly that God in His mercy will help you to bear these impediments with patience.
  2.  If once or twice you have warned someone and that person does not comply, do not contend further with such a one, but leave all in the hands of God, that His will be done and that He be glorified in all His servants, for He knows well how to turn evil into good.
  Learn how to be patient in enduring the faults of others, remembering that you yourself have many which others have to put up with.  if you cannot make yourself be what you would like, how can you expect another to be as you would like?  We wish to see perfection in others, but do not correct our own faults.
  3.  We want to have others strictly reprimanded for their offenses, but we will not be reprimanded ourselves.  We are inclined to think the other person has too much liberty, but we ourselves will not put up with any restraint.  There must be rules for everyone else, but we must be given free rein.  It is seldom that we consider our neighbor equally with ourselves.
  If everyone was perfect, what would we have to endure for the love of God?
  4.  God wills us to learn to bear one another's burdens.  No one is without faults, no one without a cross, no one self-sufficient and no one wise enough all alone.  Therefore, we must support, comfort, and assist one another, instructing and admonishing one another in all charity.
  Adversity is the best test of virtue.  The occasions of sin do not weaken anyone; on the contrary, they show that person's true worth.

It was not that I needed a reminder that I also have faults.  I know this very well.  I didn't learn anything new from #2 or #3.  I do NOT feel that I should reprimand others at all, that others should be reprimanded, or that I should not.  I'm not under the illusion that I'm perfect or that I'm better than others.  Far from it.  When I read #3, I thought that I would like to be gently reprimanded for my faults.  If someone is willing to point out my mistakes/faults/sins with charity, then I have been given the opportunity to correct them.  I really mean that.

The parts that I put in bold and italic were what I needed to hear.  For many years, I have been bearing the burden of the disorder of another person.  This person cannot help the disorder that they have been given.  They cannot help how it affects me and how deeply it affects my life.  In fact, until recently, this person was more or less unaware of just how completely it affects me (I am not at liberty to be more specific because this person has requested privacy).  The distress was too much this particular night, and it's what landed me at church in prayer.  I was seeking the calm that can only be found by sitting with Jesus.

What God was telling me was that He wasn't allowing me to bear this burden without reason.  He had given me this burden to refine my spirit in His holy fire, to test me, to increase my patience, and to make me stronger.  What a revelation!

I shared what I had learned with the person whose disorder I bear.  I explained in detail how they had borne my own faults and how much I admired them for bearing my faults with humility and patience.  I said that I would do the same.  We talked for a long time.  We were both at peace.

Thank you, Brother à Kempis!

Anniversary Week Part 1: Marriage Encounter

Jeremy and I registered for a Marriage Encounter weekend.  It was something we'd agreed to do waaaaay back when we got married.  We said--at the time of our wedding--that we would make a weekend when we had been married for ten years.  We kept our agreement!  June 15th was our tenth anniversary. Jeremy's parents agreed to keep our FIVE children for a WEEK so we could make this trip alone!  It was a second honeymoon, of sorts.

We looked at several weekends in the states surrounding Nebraska (we wanted to get away from home) and the date that worked the best just happened to be exactly where I wanted to go ... Colorado! Camp Saint Malo hosted our Marriage Encounter weekend. This is near Allenspark, Colorado, which is within 10 miles of Estes Park.

St. Catherine of Siena Church, also known as Chapel on the Rock, is on the grounds of Saint Malo.

The retreat center is situated at the base of Mt. Meeker.

The day before our retreat began, we shopped in Estes Park for a sort of Flat Stanley that we could take along with us.

This is "Teek," short for Tiki, and he went nearly everywhere with us.  He's supposed to look weird.  That's the idea.

I'm not sure he should have been reading our private letters, but he tried anyway.

And since we couldn't talk on our mobile phones, he did ... with coffee.

This is the view from our room!

In 1993, World Youth Day took place in Denver, Colorado.  Pope John Paul II stayed at Camp Saint Malo while he was there and hiked in the beautiful woods around the retreat center.  In his memorial is a trail that Jeremy and I hiked.  The fun part of this story is that both Jeremy and I were participants in World Youth Day 1993.  We did not know each other at the time, but it is a shared experience that we love to remember together.  It was fun to see memories of our beloved Pope John Paul II in such a beautiful setting.  And St. Malo is beautiful!  Even if you are not staying at the retreat center, visit! 

"When He had sent the multitudes away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray."  --Matthew 14:23

We loved the sound of the rushing river (okay, in Nebraska, we call this a creek) and it was COLD.

Maybe Teek can tell us what the markers are for.

As I wrote in my journal, this was my view. 

::

The weekend lasted from Friday evening until Saturday evening.  The main purpose of a Marriage Encounter is to make good marriages better.  We learned quite a bit about communication--the term they use is dialogue--and how to listen and communicate feelings.  One wife joked, "I'm from northern Minnesota ... we don't have feelings up there."  I knew exactly what she meant.  The sight of the word feelings in the front of my workbook intimidated me at first.  We had to talk about FEELINGS!?  But once we got into the material, it was a good weekend.  Intense, repetitive, and slightly tedious, but good.

So would I recommend the weekend to other couples?  I think so.  I wouldn't insist, but I would say that it was worth the effort, the work, and certainly worth the time.  The part that keeps me from insisting is that the end of the weekend--a weekend conceived in the 60s, mind you--was a bit hippy feeling, with group hugs and the wearing out of the phrase couple love.  There was a lot of feel-good propaganda (that makes me hear a little scream inside my head) BUT the weekend was well-focused on marriage, which is the point, after all.  Overall, it was good.

If you make a weekend, remember to leave your mobile phones at home but to bring your hemp clothing, your fringes, and your groove.  It all turns out pretty well.

Has anyone else made a Marriage Encounter Weekend and would like to share the story?

Lectio Divina

While on retreat this weekend, a talk was given on Lectio Divina. My understanding of this is still in its infancy, but I wanted to share the idea with you in case you had not yet been taught this method of prayer, meditation, and contemplation.

Lectio Divina translates: Divine Reading. It refers to a way of reading scripture as monastics have done for centuries. Simply put, it is integrating prayer/contemplation/meditation with the reading of scripture.

Why didn't I think of this? I assumed that my reading had to be separate from my prayer and that my prayer had to be separate from my reading--even contemplation--and it hadn't occurred to me to integrate the two, even though I am beginning to learn to use a breviary to pray the Liturgy of the Hours.

Taken directly from Fisheaters dot com:

Lectio Divina (pronounced "Lec-tsee-oh Di-vee-nah") means "Divine Reading" and refers specifically to a method of Scripture reading practiced by monastics since the beginning of the Church.

The early centrality of reading of Sacred Scripture, and then meditating and praying over its meaning, is evident in the 48th chapter of the Rule of St. Benedict (A.D. 480-453), a book written by the Great Saint to guide monastic life.

But it was an 11th c. Carthusian prior named Guigo ¹ who formalized Lectio Divina, describing the method in a letter written to a fellow religious. This letter, which has become known as Scala Paradisi -- the Stairway to Heaven -- describes a 4-runged ladder to Heaven, each rung being one of the four steps in his method of Bible reading. Those steps, and Guigo's brief descriptions of them, are:

• lectio (reading): "looking on Holy Scripture with all one's will and wit"
• meditatio (meditation): "a studious insearching with the mind to know what was before concealed through desiring proper skill"
• oratio (prayer): "a devout desiring of the heart to get what is good and avoid what is evil"
• contemplatio (contemplation): "the lifting up of the heart to God tasting somewhat of the heavenly sweetness and savour"

Through the practice of Lectio Divina by monastics in group settings, three other steps are sometimes added to the four above such that the steps become:

• statio (position)
• lectio (reading)
• meditatio (meditation)
• oratio (prayer)
• contemplatio (contemplation)
• collatio (discussion)
• actio (action)

The Steps in Detail

Statio
First, we arrange a place so it is restful, warm, and non-distracting. This may involve the lighting of candles, the burning of incense, the shutting of doors and drawing of curtains -- whatever makes one feel calm and at peace. Then we assume a bodily posture that is conducive to prayer and reading. We breathe slowly, focusing on the Holy Name of Jesus and nothing else, until we are relaxed and able to focus our attention solely on Scripture. If our minds wander, we gently bring our attention back to the Holy Name of Our Lord, breathing in and out rhythmically. Note that, unlike in Eastern prayer which seeks to empty oneself to be open to some great "Nothing", we are ever mindful of the One Almighty Triune and Transcendent God, and are trying to calm ourselves so that what He might reveal to us through His Word may more easily be perceived.

It is good if the place chosen for Lectio Divina is a comfortable area chosen just for this and other prayerful activities. The presence of relevant icons and other visual aids to meditation can be of great benefit. Now pray a prayer to the Holy Ghost, such as this one:

A Prayer Before the Reading of Any Part of the Holy Scripture

Come Holy Ghost, fill the hearts and minds of the faithful servants, and inflame them with the fire of Thy divine love.

Let us pray: O God, who by the inspiration of the Holy Ghost, didst instruct the hearts of thy faithful servants; grant us in the same Spirit, to discern what is right, and enjoy His comfort forever, through our Lord Jesus Christ, Who liveth and reigneth, one God, with Thee and the same Spirit, world without end. Amen.

Lectio
When we are relaxed and in a contemplative mode, we trace the Sign of the Cross on the book of Scripture, kiss the Cross we traced, and then open it to read. Some may want to focus on Scripture from that day's Propers. Others may want to read the Bible straight through, starting with Genesis. Others may want to focus only on the New Testament or the Psalms. We aren't trying to "accomplish a goal" of reading X amount; we read what is easily digested at that time. Whichever selection we choose, we read it with our minds, slowly, gently, coming to an understanding of the words themselves.

Having a solid orthodox Catholic commentary (pre-Vatican II commentary with Imprimatur or the rare, well-chosen post-Vatican II commentary), a nice Concordance, etc., in order to get a good grasp of the meaning of the actual words -- their historical cultural context, their etymologies, the Fathers' thoughts on the relevant Scripture, etc. -- is imperative. We should always approach Scripture with the mind of the Church, in the spirit of the Ethopian eunuch who asked Philip to guide him:

Acts 8:30-31
And Philip running thither, heard him reading the prophet Isaias. And he said: Thinkest thou that thou understandest what thou readest? Who said: And how can I, unless some man shew me? And he desired Philip that he would come up and sit with him.

We should always keep in mind Peter's admonition that "no prophecy of scripture is made by private interpretation" (2 Peter 1:20) and that Scripture can be difficult to understand, something "which the unlearned and unstable wrest...to their own destruction" (2 Peter 3:16).

If you come to a verse you don't understand, or that you understand in a way that is contrary to Catholic teaching, seek traditional Catholic commentary on it. Any apparent contradiction between Scripture and Catholic teaching is just that: apparent, and not real. As an example, even a simple verse such as one that refers to Mary's "firstborn" will be misunderstood if one is ignorant of Jewish law, as are many Protestants who believe that reference to a "firstborn" means there must be a "secondborn," and who then go on to deny Mary's virginity. Seek a Catholic commentary which would refer you, in this case, to the Old Testament law of the "firstborn" and will teach you what that word really means (see Exodus 13:2, Exodus 13:14-15, Numbers 18:15 and research the term "pidyon ha-ben").

At any rate, in Lectio, we are reading for the literal sense of the words, trying to understand the reality the writer of the text intended to convey.

Meditatio
Now we meditate on what we have read, perhaps even reading it again, visualizing it and listening for the aspect of it that reveals the Divine Mysteries. We want the deeper, spiritual meanings of the words now, and read for its anagogocal (or "eschatalogical") sense and its typical (or "allegorical") sense -- i.e., we consider types and anti-types, shadows and symbolism in order to understand the deeper reality the Holy Ghost intends to convey by arranging nature and history as He did, thereby inspiring the writer of the text to write as he did.


Oratio
We ask God to for the grace to be changed by what we have read, to come more fully into being what He wants us to be, and to help us apply the tropological (or "moral") sense of the Scripture to our lives.


Contemplatio
We rest in gratitude for God and His Word.


Collatio
If we are engaging in Lectio Divina with others, we discuss what we've learned.


Actio
We live what we have learned.

Consider engaging in Lectio Divina with your family, perhaps on the Lord's Day each week (if not daily). Discuss Scripture together, encouraging even the littlest ones of your family to participate (the very small can draw pictures of the stories you are reading). Make the Bible a familar and integral part of their lives.).

Osama bin Laden and Other Thoughts

"I've never wished a man dead.  But I've read some obituaries with great pleasure."  (--attributed to Mark Twain)

The death of Osama bin Laden has got me thinking.  Should I be relieved, excited, scared, or disgusted?  Should Americans be throwing parties to celebrate?  Should we be rejoicing in the demise of another, albeit a terrorist and murderer? 

His death was a relief to me.  I thought through it this morning, while listening to broadcasts and morning-show-opinions.  First, I wondered whether we (Americans) should have killed him, or should we have imprisoned him?  Did we have the right to kill him?  His life did not belong to us but to God, although the blood of thousands of his victims cries out, all over the world.  I thought of that, then thought about what would have happened, had he been imprisoned.  He and his prison would have become a rallying point for terrorists.  If he were imprisoned here, it would render us susceptible to more terrorist attacks, international controversy, and attempts to free him.  It is also well known that prison doesn't stop terrorists from making and executing deathly plans.  After these things occurred to me, I came to the conclusion that it was indeed necessary to end his life.  It was necessary to kill him in order to protect America and many other nations.  Imprisonment wouldn't have rendered him impotent in the terrorist world.  I believe this.

But in spite of the fact that I think his death was necessary, I am nauseated by the excitement that radiates from America right now.  I believe that when we (America) deliberately put a person to death, we should do so with an appropriate amount of respect and contrition.  After all, we have just taken a life.  This is a very, very serious action. I heard that his body was buried at sea.  I am glad.  There need not be news broadcasts of his lifeless body, and unlike terrorist heathens, we will not drag it through the streets screaming for joy.  In the absence of a body to tout, people are celebrating in the streets, before the capitol, having a party.

(Aside: people might try to negate my thoughts by saying that I didn't lose anyone in 9/11, that I haven't lost a family member to military service, or that someone dear to me has never been murdered.  These people would be wrong on most counts.  I lost thousands of fellow Americans on 9/11, along with my own sense of homeland security.  I have one brother in the military, two veteran grandfathers, and a brother about to enter the Marines.  And I have lost a family member to murder.)

Let us show the world how America does it.  Let us show them that although we assassinated this terrorist, we are too dignified to celebrate his death.  Let us show the world that we are relieved that he is no longer a threat, and accept his death with a healthy dose of humility, for we are the ones that took his life, a life that--in spite of his potent terrorism--belonged to God alone.  Let God alone be his judge.

Madeleine's First Communion Retreat

Madeleine's school always hosts a day-long retreat for first communicants.  Parents are encouraged to help with the retreat.  Jeremy took the day off so I could go.  Here, Madeleine is making prayer beads.

There were stations that the children rotated between, in the morning.  One of the moms, Melissa, helped the children make bread in the church's kitchen.  Looking on is David, the boy with whom Madeleine was baptized.  That is the fun part of coming into a parish and staying in the parish (we've been here for nearly 9 years): we come to know one another very well.  I can say to many children, "I saw you baptized!"

Madeleine dusts her hands in preparation for kneading.

Oh, the joys of bread-making!

Speaking of knowing other parishioners well, it is also fun to enter a parish and watch our friends join over the years.  The woman to the left, Lisa, is a good friend of ours.  In fact, we met because she agreed to direct the choir for our wedding.  A year after we married, she married and her daughter Ana (in front of her) and Madeleine were born only three weeks apart.  They joined the parish shortly after we did.  It has been a blessing to grow our families together.

The last station (after prayer beads and bread) was bingo.

"JESUS" was actually bingo.  There were prizes!

We ate lunch in the prayer garden.  Monsignor came out and couldn't even make it up the pathway, so many children were running to hug him and talk to him, tell him about their day, and say, "Monsignor, you're the best!"

In the middle of it all is Sister Marie Caritas, the children's teacher.

Toward the end of the day, the children were invested (?) into the order of Carmel and each were given scapulars.

Here, Monsignor gives Madeleine her scapular.

I love it!  I love the matching ponytails and matching jumpers and now, matching scapulars!

Lent

So I spent the first 33 years of my life thinking that we were supposed to give up something during Lent, and that something should make us better ... physically.  We shouldn't have much sugar anyway, right?  Give up sugar, give up soda.  We should be exercising, right?  Then resolve to exercise during Lent.  We should not really be eating between meals, right?  So give it up and lose a few pounds. 

No. 

Lent is about prayer, fasting, and almsgiving.  These three things will make us better people. 

Prayer is communication with our Heavenly Father.  We should work on it harder than anything else in our lives.  I feel that disciplined prayer is important, although I have a long way to go in that department.

Fasting is going without something that gives us joy, something that makes life pleasurable.  The most obvious thing that people think of first is food.  Yes, we could give up food in one way or another, but are we doing it in a spirit of fasting?  I wasn't.  I didn't understand completely.  This season, many of the women I know tried the Daniel Fast for Lent.  WOW.  As I heard a little more and read a little more, I began to understand.  Lent was not about working to make ourselves better physically, but taking a little of the pleasure out of life, incorporating discipline in prayer, and become better spiritually.  I had really been missing the mark. 

Next year, among other things, I will not add salt and pepper to my food during Lent.  I'm a saltoholic to my core.  I love it.  Now I'm not giving this up because my blood pressure is high (au contraire) or because I think salt is bad for me (no way!).  I'll giving it up in a spirit of fasting.  Going without will take some of the pleasure out of eating and will remind me of this penitent time period. 

Next Lent will be better, spiritually.  Next Lent will truly be a period of fasting, prayer, and almsgiving.  This is how I will honor my God and His death.  This is how I will remember that I was paid for with blood.

Madeleine's First Holy Communion

Five priests con-celebrated Mass on this Saturday.  Monsignor (in purple, not in this picture) baptized Madeleine.  The priest in the center--Father B--of this picture baptized Noah, and another priest (Father R--not pictured) baptized Isaiah.

Monsignor and Father B

Madeleine

Jesus is here!

I get goosebumps every time I see this picture!

I do believe this is heavenly bliss written on her face.

Jeremy, Madeleine, and me ... parents come up behind the first communicants and receive Christ along with her.

Full house!

Maddie smiles at Uncle Kevin, who is the photographer behind all of these wonderful pictures.

All the communicants gathered downstairs afterward.  This is their teacher, who also prepared them for First Holy Communion, Sister Marie Caritas.  To the right is their principal, Sister Mary Cecelia.

Monsignor and Madeleine

Dad and Madeleine

Me, Maddie, Maddie (seriously), and Jen ... Jen is one of my best friends.  We were lucky enough to be assigned to sit next to each other during Mass.  I'm glad that I had a close friend among the first communicants' parents!

There was a cake reception after Mass.

Each child was given a rose.  The rose is significant in our parish, as it is a sign of our patron saint.

Full of grace!

Maddie and me

Meat Free Monday

I've just discovered Meat Free Monday, a concept introduced by Paul McCartney and detailed HERE at the cause's website.  The intro reads:

     By giving up meat for one day each week you can save money, reduce your environmental impact and live a healthier life.
     In 2006, a United Nations Food and Agricultural Organization report, Livestock’s Long Shadow, highlighted the environmental impact of meat-eating and the importance of making more environmentally and socially conscious food choices. In 2009, we launched the Meat Free Monday campaign as a simple and straightforward idea to show everyone the value of eating less meat – and to make it easier for us all to do so.
     We’re not asking you to give up meat completely, we’re encouraging you to do your bit to help protect our planet. By joining together in having one meat-free day each week we’ll be making great steps towards reducing the environmental problems associated with the meat industry. You’ll also be giving your own health a boost, and with the added benefit that vegetables cost less than meat, having one meat-free day each week means it’s good for your pocket too.

I laugh and laugh and laugh--because that's what I do best--at this concept.  Why doesn't everyone just become Catholic?  We give up meat every Friday and have been doing it since waaaaay back before Paul McCartney was born ... maybe.  I guess he is kind of old.

Good grief.  This world is full of Catholic wanna-be people who haven't yet realized their full potential.  They wanna celebrate St. Patrick's day, Valentine's Day, Mardi Gras, Christmas, practice meditation and fasting, contemplation, charitable work, they want to save the environment, encourage pacifism, women's rights, and respect for all things living (except baby humans, of course).  Take care of the needy, visit the sick, man ... we're even anti-death penalty (mostly, or at least I am). Oh yeah, and we also have this thing called the Sabbath: a whole entire day of mandatory rest.  Woo-hoo!

Do it already, people.  Take the step.  Join RCIA.  Get it over with.  Be Catholic.  Give up meat once a week.  Change the world!

V and Food for Thought

Jeremy and I have been watching the show V with great interest.  We loved the X-Files when it was on, and CSI until it started giving me bad dreams.  Other than Survivor, we really have no must-watch TV shows (okay, Deadliest Catch for a year).

The point of the story is that I think we'll quit watching V.  In the last episode, Anna (the queen V) wanted the Catholic Church to send missionaries to their ship.  Her motives are not pure; she wanted to learn about the human soul and how to squash it.  Really.  Although the College of Cardinals said that they would send missionaries to the Visitors, they said they would not instruct their priests to stop preaching against the V.  Anna threatened to perform miracle after miracle in order to sway the Faithful and the College of Cardinals caved.  They issued an order that priests could not preach against the Visitors.  If you have no earthly idea what I'm talking about, click HERE.  Because the show shows the Cardinals caving to the desires of Anna, we're pretty sure that we're done watching the show.  The Church wouldn't do that.

So I'm thinking about this as we watch and I think to myself, "why do they (the writers) have to pick on the Catholic Church!?"  Then it hits me: They chose the only unified Church with a visible and very public hierarchy and leader--the Pope.  They chose the ONLY unified Church with a visible hierarchy and leader.  Now there's food for thought.

Only in a Catholic Home

Would one find an NFP chart sitting in a pile of school pictures and papers beneath leftover bread....

....and find a stack of diapers sitting on a baggie of wet wipes right beside a statue of the Blessed Virgin.