Afterthoughts on Stair-step Children

What a great response to my recent post about stair-step children! This had me thinking even more. I want to thank you so much for leaving comments--such supportive, positive things you had to say! I'm hoping that my words were encouraging to those of you in the midst of a crowd of toddlers and babies; that's the hard part! It only gets easier. My friend Lisa's response to "boy, you've got your hands full," is, "better full than empty!" You can improvise, too; it's better to be busy than idle, for example.

Better full than empty is so true. I am motivated to welcome another child (or more children) by reflecting on this regularly. As hard as it can be sometimes to manage a family of four children, I know that it's going to get easier. Many people, especially the elderly in nursing homes, will say that they wish they'd had one more or two more children. I have NEVER heard anyone say that they wish they had stopped at #3 or #4 or even #11. I have heard many of my peers--especially ones who are an only child--wish out loud for siblings that they never had, but I have NEVER heard a peer say that they wish that they had less siblings.

I'm the oldest of nine children. I've got three sisters and two brothers all living here in my city. Another brother is serving in the Navy and a brother and sister are still living at home. As I type this, one of my sisters is sitting behind me on the couch keeping me company. No matter the day, it's pretty easy to round up one or two people to hang out with. What if the only sibling I had was the brother in the Navy? I'd be awfully lonely!

A topic for another day: how great it is to have four sisters-in-law and three brothers-in-law in addition to my own siblings...
Here's my disclaimer: I know that there are women hungry for a child to love. I know that there are families who would love to add to their numbers but can't, whether the reason be physical, financial, or something else. I am not here to judge small families. I feel a lot of joy in seeing large families, but when I see a small family, I do not make the assumption that they are choosing not to expand for selfish reasons. I would never presume to say that their family is too small, just as I expect others not to judge the size of my family. I don't know what their family is going through. Perhaps they have been trying to have a child for years, perhaps they've lost a child or children to miscarriage, or perhaps their older children have already grown and left and all they've got left in the pew is one or two!
That being said, I am glad that we are open to life. My Catholic physician helped me to understand this a little better (he and his wife have 12 children). He was lamenting the idea behind contraception and said, "what does it tell your other children when parents say, 'we couldn't handle any more,' or 'we are DONE.' ?" I imagine that it makes them feel like a burden. Children are not a burden! Even when it is difficult to manage or when mom sits on the couch begging for grace because she's overwhelmed, child-rearing is a blessing. After all, nothing is easy! The message sent to your children when you are open to life is a message of joy. You're telling them that they're so great that you hope for more just like them!
There are some days when I think that I could handle 12 kids and some days when I want to send back the 4 that I have (only kidding). The one thing I know for sure is that I would welcome the next little life that God might offer us.