Overheard (Out of the Blue)

Isaiah, 4, says to Daddy as he is leaving for work this morning, "Bye, Daddy, I love you.  Don't break both of your legs, okay?"

Overheard

At the lunch table, I was explaining to my sister Sophie how we put Isaiah, 4 years old, on the phone when a telemarketer calls.  One conversation began with Isaiah saying the following, "Hello, this is Isaiah ... what are parents?  ... I went to swimming lessons this week!  ... Yeah, my mommy is here.  ... But I'm talking now...."

Then the kids laughed and I said that he knows now what parents are.  I asked Isaiah outloud, "Who are your parents?"  Isaiah replied, "You and daddy ... and my fake parents are Carrie and Joel." 

Punchline?  Carrie and Joel are his godparents. 

Enjoy the laughs!

Overheard (Overread, really)

I take the children to a local pool for swimming lessons in the morning.  Every so often, there is a minivan parked there with the bumper sticker to rule all bumper stickers.

SUBDUCTION LEADS TO OROGENY

Get it?  You probably don't.  The first time I saw it, it made me laugh until I cried.  Who would put that on their car!?  A geologist, of course! 

Let me explain: Geologically speaking, subduction is what happens when one of earth's tectonic plates moves under another (SUB).  When this happens, the possibilities are endless: earthquakes, mountain building, volcanoes, etc.  So that explains subduction.  What is orogeny?  Get your mind out of the gutter.  Orogeny is the geological term for a mountain building event.  Now do you get it?  Subduction leads to orogeny ... the movement of one earth's tectonic plate beneath another builds mountains.  If you still don't quite get it or my explanation leaves much to be desired, read THIS article at Wikipedia.  It explains it well, with illustrations.

P.S. For those of you in love with America's Rocky Mountains, it was the Laramide Orogeny which formed them in the late Cretaceous.  Read about that HERE.

::

Overheard

In an attempt to find out Isaiah's favorite color, I had the following conversation with him.  He is four.

Me: Isaiah, what's your favorite color?
Isaiah: All of them.
Me: Okay, but can you pick one?
Isaiah: No.  All of them.
Me: What if I told you that I would go buy you a new shirt and it could be any color you want?  What would you say?
Isaiah (with an awestruck look on his face): Thank you!

Overheard: Did I Really Just Say That?

Me, speaking to Maria, 15 months old

"Maria, no!  Don't put Jesus in the recycle bin!"

Overheard

Madeleine (8): Mom, Maria needs her nose wiped again.
Me: Well would you wipe it?  My hands are full.
Madeleine: Ew, no, I can't!  It makes me throw up ... in my mouth.  Every time.

Disclaimer: I know the punch line sounds very much like a Saturday Night Live line, but I assure you, we do not use it in front of the kids.  It's coincidental.

Overheard

Jeremy: Isaiah, I'll start a bath for you. 
Isaiah (4): Can it be a long bath?  [As opposed to the power-baths we often rush the kids through]
Jeremy: Yes, it can be a long bath, as long as you want.
Isaiah: How many days, Daddy?

Overheard

In an effort to get Noah, 6.5, to name the five senses in order to complete homework for kindergarten, we had the following conversation:

Me:  Noah, I want you to tell me what the five senses are.

Noah: (dubious look)

Me: Okay, smell is one of them.  If I set something in front of you on the table, you will smell it and that will help tell you what it is.

Noah: Or I would SEE it!

Me: Yes, and that would probably happen first.  But if I plugged your nose and covered your eyes, what else could you use to guess what's in front of you?

Noah: I could hear it.

Me:  Yes!

Noah: Someone could bring a tiger in the room if my eyes were closed. 

Me: Yes, and that would be noisy, but two more senses to name!  If I plugged your nose and covered your eyes and ears, how could you tell what was in front of you?

Noah: I'd touch it!

Me: So if I plugged your nose, covered your eyes and your ears, and tied your hands down, what could you do [to tell what's in front of you, on the table ... We were in the dining room; I was going for taste]. 

Noah: I would scream for my life.

New Shoes

Noah, several weeks ago, told me that his shoes were getting tight.  I kept forgetting and forgetting to get him new shoes.  But this weekend, I finally remembered.  I picked out a pair of sneakers for him and a pair of church shoes.  He was SO excited!  This morning as he was getting ready for school, he came to me in the kitchen and said, "Mom, do you know what I'm going to say when I get to school today?"  I asked him, "what?" and he said, "There's something new about me!" and he wiggled his feet in the air, proud of his new shoes.  I melted into a little puddle there on the kitchen floor.  I'm so happy that he's excited, and so relieved.

We want to raise our children to be grateful for everything that they have.  My prayers always begin, "Dear Jesus, thank you for giving us a home to live in, food to eat, and clothes to wear."  More than anything, I desire that my children take this attitude as they grow.  I feel that many Americans take for granted the blessing of being born in this wonderful country, that so many people feel entitled to possessions and a life of ease. 

We try to keep it simple for our kids.  We want to provide for them the things that they need: love, food, clothing, shoes, coats, education, and a home.  We have been blessed with the means to give them these things.  We are blessed that Jeremy's job provides income enough for me to stay home.  We do not plan on taking our kids to Disney World (okay, if we lived anywhere near DW we might) nor on fancy vacations to Hawaii or Mexico.  We haven't bought them motorized vehicles for tooling around the driveway nor do we buy into commercialism, trends, and materialism.  In fact, we fight these things!

We want our children to look forward to an afternoon in the park, a picnic with friends, an outing to the mall, a trip to the zoo.  We want them to get excited about seeing a movie in a theater, about a trip to Grandma's, and time with their cousins.  I don't want them to become bored with these things, to be looking to the next "big thing" or the next toy that was advertised between cartoons.  I want them to be happy with what they have.

Most of all, I want them to be happy about the little things in life.  I want them to know that family is the most important and new shoes are definitely something to get excited about.

Overheard

Isaiah, 3.5, says:

"Mom, I think my Spinosaurus is up on the counter but I can't see it.  Can you look and see?  Because you're long so you can see it."

Overheard

Scenario: Morgan and Madeleine attend the same school as their cousin Clare, who is just a few months younger than Madeleine.  They see one another often during the day and apparently, they come up with plans.  I overheard this conversation one day after school:

Morgan: Maddie, Clare said that Grandma's gonna have us out for a girls' night!
Maddie: Just you and me and Clare and Evie?
Morgan: Yup, and Claudia and Delphina.  Just the girls ... SOON.
Maddie: I can't wait!  We're gonna make popcorn and watch a movie!
Morgan: Yeah, and maybe paint our toenails.  Grandma's gonna have the girls out.

*short period of contemplative silence*

Maddie: Hey, Morgan, does Grandma know?

Overheard

Scenario: the kids are watching a secular cartoon.  One character exclaims to another, "It's all about you, isn't it!?"  Noah, 6, frowns and says, "No, it's not all about her ... it's all about God!" 

YES!

Overheard

Scene: Coffee is brewing in the kitchen.

Noah (6): I think coffee smells gross.

Me: Really?  I think coffee smells wonderful.

Noah: Well I think it smells like dead bugs.

Overheard

" I  a m   N O T   t i r e d ! "

Overheard

Out of the blue, breaking the silence in the van on the way back from the doctor's office, Madeleine, 7, said, "The devil is telling me to break out the window." 

(Anyone who mentions schizophrenia will be censored)

Overheard

See my doughnut shirt!

Overheard

Isaiah, 3, (to his siblings): Hurry up to the table!  My throat is hungry!

::

Me: ....because I'm your mother and I know what's best for you.
Isaiah: Suckers!?  I love suckers.

::

Noah, 5.5, was entertaining Maria by playing with cars on her high chair tray.  He crashed two of them, turned to me, grinned, and exclaimed, "There was a FEROCIOUS car crash on Maria's high chair!"

::

Me: I spy with my little eyes ... something that has a Chevy sign on it!
Isaiah: Pinnochio!
 (Note: there is no context for this; I have no idea where it came from.  That's why it was funny.)
::

Noah: My favorite part of Maria is her head.
Me: Why?
Noah: Because it's the prettiest part and that's where her sounds come out.

Overheard

Isaiah is watching Sesame Street while I work.  He starts chuckling and says, amidst the giggles, "Mommy, look, a big funny chicken!"  It's Big Bird.

Overheard

"Mama, I not hungry for supper."  --Isaiah, 3 years old.

Overheard

The scene: Morgan is swinging at the playground by the lake after swimming.  I'm standing in front of her pushing Isaiah.  She points at me and says, "How do we get [to] those boobies?"  (I didn't hear the to.)

Me: WHAT?
Morgan: How do we get [to] those boobies?
Me: NO!
Morgan:What did I say?
Me: You can't use that word.  I don't like it, it's a stupid word, and I won't allow it.

Morgan looks confused.

Morgan: Well what do I call them, then?

She gestures again at me, then I realize she's gesturing out into the water.  I turn around and notice the large orange and white striped markers floating in the water.  I start laughing and she frowns at me.

Me: BOUYS, Morgan.  BOO-WEES.  Bouys.