Tuesday, November 2, 2010

ABCs for Thought

My friend Diane wrote THIS post and it's got me thinking!

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Out of curiosity, I looked up (via internet, so who knows the accuracy of what I've found) Type A and Type B personalities.  On this quiz, I scored a 55/100, which puts me right between A and B.  That's a relief.  The description flattered me:
You seem to be in the middle between the Type A and Type B personality. In this case, the middle ground is good. Your attitude to life is more of the "smell the roses" kind and you know how and when to relax. Nonetheless, you realize that picking up a challenge and competing a little bit for your place in the sun can add some spice to your life. The equilibrium is important, so don't let your hostile, aggressive, and competitive alter ego take over too often. Generally, you are easy to be around, and people tend to feel relaxed and comfortable in your presence. Yours is a very healthy attitude towards life. 
BUT I realize that the information that Discovery presented is not comprehensive.  Apparently, Type A personality is goal oriented, competitive, impatient, likes to be recognized, is outgoing, and is a planner, scheduler, punctual, and doesn't mind conflict.  Type B is the absence of Type A, according to what I've read.

I see in myself lots of Type A.  I like to have my ducks in a row.  If someone ahead of me in traffic is sitting at a green light, I tap my horn (not a hooooonk, just a tap).  What are they sitting there for!?  I've got better things to do!  Pay attention!  I make decisions quickly.  It is agonizing for me to wait for my poor spouse a Type B personality to catch up with the situation and decide what to do next.  I almost feel physical pain when waiting for someone else to make a decision when I've already got a conclusion drawn up in my head.  I don't hem and haw about the details, although I do take them into account.  I do NOT like telling other people what to do and rarely offer unsolicited advice.  I detest repeating myself (when I feel I'm being ignored--repeating myself because my conversation partner didn't hear me doesn't bother me) and I dislike it when people repeat themselves to me, thinking I didn't get whatever it was they were saying.  I AM paying attention.  I am simply keeping my mouth closed so that the person can finish with their idea, not because what they said didn't register.  If I was not paying attention, I will say so, apologize, and ask for a repeat.  I like to be at appointments early, NEVER late, and I get agitated when my family is not running ahead of schedule.  It drives me nuts when other shoppers are oblivious to me, parking the cart in the middle of the aisle, stopping short right in front of me, walking out in front of me from a side aisle to a main aisle.  I wish I was more relaxed!

On the other hand, I am not competitive in the least.  I have no interest in competition.  Also, I do not like conflict.  I am amiable.  I will agree to disagree.  If I disagree with a point in conversation with my husband or my friends, for example, I do not expect an argument.  I don't want to argue.  My friends and my husband are adults and can make their own decisions.  There is no need for me to persuade them to see my point of view except when I know best what kind of curtain to get for the family room and my husband disagrees.  Likewise, I do not expect to be argued with.  It is a turn off.  The only thing that matters is God, and if I've got the wrong idea about something, or am on the wrong track morally or spiritually, I really want someone to point that out to me.  About other things ... not so much.  I do not want someone to tell me how to diaper my child or whether I should breastfeed or bottlefeed (I breastfeed).  I do not like to be recognized, either.  I don't need recognition for the things I do.  I do not like the spotlight on me.  I do not need 1000 followers on my blog although followers are a form of flattery and I do love comments.  I prefer to work quietly in the background.  I don't need to be in first place.  In fact, being in first place and being recognized for it would almost be embarrassing for me.  Although I like instant gratification--if pregnancy lasted 9 days instead of 9 months, that'd be great--and like to see tasks accomplished, I do not look years and years ahead.  I focus on NOW.  What can I accomplish NOW?  Motherhood is a lot about working in the NOW to achieve goals that won't be realized for years.  What fires do I need to put out NOW, so to speak, to make our day continue to happen?

My husband is most definitely a Type B personality.  How on earth do we make this work, I wonder!?  (Said with a wink and a smile!)  He's never in a hurry, doesn't mind being late, would rather relax at the end of the day than accomplish household tasks, doesn't keep a TO DO list, puts things off till the very absolute possible last minute, and is more content to let chores go and enjoy his children--a personality trait that I envy! 

Jeremy has taught me a lot about patience, about delaying gratification, and a lot about letting things go although I would still honk the horn for him while he's driving, if he'd let me.  He has taught me--or tried to teach me--to slow down and enjoy what I'm doing right now (the kids, for example) and not focus so much on what's happening tomorrow or next week or next year.  He makes me sit down at the end of the day and rest for a little while before I get up again to work.  He encourages me to take a nap rather than chugging another Diet Mountain Dew.  These things are his best traits and this is why he's so good for me.

Motherhood, however, has pushed me--in spite of all my resistance--into Type B mode.  I hope it's more permanent than a forced-on-me-temporary thing.  Children need a little of Type A and a lot of Type B, I think.  Sometimes an unexpected trip to the zoo midmorning is good.  A midmorning trip to the zoo at lunchtime, when kids are hungry and naptime is imminent, is not good.  Getting to school on time in the morning is good.  Skipping school for a trip to the campgrounds is not so good.  Kids need structure and organization, but they also need a relaxed, flexible parent.  I hope to be enough of both.

Which category--if any--do you fit into?  How do you balance it all?  Are you and your spouse alike, or different in these ways?

7 comments:

Annie said...

I score in the 20's--type B. though I try so hard to be type A with lists and flylady, etc ,etc. i'm just not so good at it. i had to laugh at the type B stoplight laggers vs the type A horn honkers, too funny!

Sandra said...

I consider myself both and then I took that test and scored 47. So maybe I do know myself...better than I thought....does that sentence even make sense? :-) I love stuff like that test..they're silly fun!

Diane said...

Hey! That's very interesting info. I took the test and was very surprised to see a 47! I thought for sure it'd be about 99. :)~ And funny to hear about the spouse component. Lance is definitely an A, which, I'm sure has it's pros and cons for me to be matched up with. My mom definitely did drive me CRAZY at times, but, you're right, it's very good to have that for balance. Fun stuff- Thanks for sharing!!

Mom P said...

I scored a 20 or something like that. It said I'm easy going. Forty years of marraige, five kids, oops six with Mr. P, thirteen grandkids. It does teach you patience. Give me a few more years and I may have a minus score. Just kidding. I love my life a lot.

elm said...

I scored 26. I bet my hubs would be a 70 something!! We sort of try to balance each other out, I guess. I sometimes get a spark of Type A in me and I feel all out of sorts!! But, I want to be organized and together and scheduled and all that... but when I do that, I feel cramped and my creative side struggles to scream forth and then I have all sorts of stuff to tend to!!!

kim said...

My husband would be an extreme type A personality. i already knew that and we always joke about it. I am on the opposite end and I am an extreme type B personality so we equal other out. We actually have very little in common and very few personality traits that are similar. we are true opposites. Seriously black and white copies of each other. I guess we make it work since I don't expect or want him to change at all and he accepts me as I am...laughs about my differences and finds them attractive and vice versa. I don't think i could live with someone who is exactly like me. I crave the opposite in a mate. The only thing we agree on is family and catholicism so there u go...it works when you realize what is truly important in life.

kim said...

LOL i scored a 0 ! who can score a 0? what kind of score is that! too funny, and taking as I know my dh would answer, he would be 100. See, I told you we were extremes!