Thirsting for Life

It doesn't matter that this is our fifth pregnancy, our fifth child, our fifth trip to the hospital, our third daughter. I'm mesmerized by her already. As I key this post, I can feel her strong kicks right above my belly button. I stopped to put my hands there and enjoy it. Rather than just twitches in my tummy, I can feel hard spots now, a head or bottom, and she's comfortable with her trunk on my right side. When she kicks and I feel it, I feel the body part that is kicking, perhaps a knee, foot, or elbow. There is no less novelty in this pregnancy than there was in the previous four.

A family in our parish recently had their seventh child. This may seem routine to the world, seeing a new "Jones" baby, but it's not routine to this mother. The look on her face and the way she holds her son shows that his new little life is a pleasure to her, that it is new to her, not routine in the least.

Wanting this child is intense. It is comparable to aching with thirst a mile from home on foot without water. I think of what it will be like in the delivery room the morning she is born. I think that the moment that Jeremy hands her to me will be like taking a long cold drink after a long hot hike. Every part of me will feel relieved. She will truly fill me up.

I am already in love.